While we all have our own lists and reactions, this article on what to say and what not to say is good for reflection. For those of you to busy to click to it, here is the ‘not’ list (but read the article for the nuance):
- What can I do to help?
- My thoughts and prayers are with you
- Did you try that mango colonic I recommended?
- Everything will be OK
- How are we today?
- You look great!
And the ‘do’ list:
- Don’t write me back
- I should be going now
- Would you like some gossip?
- Simple, direct emotion
Personally, I am much more tolerant and accepting than Bruce Feiler, the author of the article. As cancer is a real test for oneself, for one’s family, and for one’s friends and colleagues, I tend to be very forgiving of how people express their feelings concerns, and less forgiving of indifference or silence. Thoughts and prayers may be a cliché, but behind the cliché is the thought, and it is the thought that counts (to use but another cliché!).
What to Say to Someone Who’s Sick – This Life – NYTimes.com.
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