I am grieving that I will never be there the Meredith I used to be. I know age is a factor, but cancer is vicious and chemotherapy builds up in your system and the more it builds, the more tired you get. I am on my ninth treatment in less than three years and it’s mentally and physically exhausting. I will keep going, as cancer is a mental game and you don’t give up until it’s really your time. So I take every day and do as much as I can, but deep down, I grieve for me. … I’ll never get over the grief of the way I was and as sad and hard as it is for my family and friends to see me going through this, I promise to always keep going, even on the down days.