Holding on for the Wedding – NYTimes.com

A touching vignette about the importance of family milestones and ‘lasting’ until them for cancer patients. One of the ‘benefits’ of cancer is that, unlike strokes or heart attacks, one knows that the end is coming and can plan around it to some degree, in addition to the motivating effect of being there for a key family moment.

Rings all too true. Last year, my goal was to be for my daughter’s high school graduation, now it is for my son’s university graduation this June. Not willing to tempt fate by aiming further, but having an objective each year is an important coping mechanism for me.

“You can see I made it to the wedding,” he said, smiling broadly, as I studied the image of him in a suit, locking arms with his granddaughter, the bride. The two of them were bordered by the opened doors of the church, stained glass windows on either side, his face bearing that familiar look of consuming love, joy and pride — along with a little fear, that at any moment he might start sobbing in front of all of his buddies and co-workers attending the ceremony. I have the same photograph in my own wedding album, of my father-in-law with my wife-to-be.

“You should have heard the gasp from everyone in the church when he came through those doors with our granddaughter,” his wife exclaimed. “I mean, no one thought he would even be there!”

Holding on for the Wedding – NYTimes.com.

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3 thoughts on “Holding on for the Wedding – NYTimes.com

  1. Now I have to go re-do my makeup. 🙂 Those milestones are HUGE factors and having something to look forward to is essential for anyone dealing with cancer. It gives you something to focus on and anticipate besides how crummy we feel.

  2. Yes and I was surprised to see that we have similar milestones. 🙂 I want to see my elder graduate from university and my younger actually in a university. I don’t know why I picked those but I think it is as you said – they are realistic and not too far in the future.

  3. I think where we are in our life helps us choose our milestones. Were our children younger or older, our milestones would likely be different. But somehow having something concrete, an achievement as it were, is more meaningful than a birthday or particular holiday.

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